Despite Thanksgiving being wonderful it has been a difficult week. Christina's health is not doing well. She is now losing weight and she will barely eat. In a couple weeks she will be having surgery to put in a gastro feeding tube into her abdomen. Before she has this surgery she needs a test done to make sure nothing is anatomically wrong with her stomach and/or intestines that have been preventing her from eating or gaining weight.
In addition to her weight and eating issues, she is still having eye problems. She will need to have another eye surgery this week to suture her eye nearly closed. Christina's right eye still has a large abrasion on the cornea and scar tissue is developing. Because she cannot close her eye and maybe partly due to her lack of calories, this wound is not healing and it just continues to get worse and worse and I think causes her pain. We use lots of eye lubrication and have tried taping her eye closed but these methods have not worked to heal her eye. So the next step in preserving her eye is to force it closed.
All of this may sound dismal and depressing and at times it is. But we are so grateful for modern medicine to help our little girl. We have such a wonderful team of doctors that truly care about helping Christina and listen to my opinions and hopes for her.
People frequently ask me how I am doing through all of this and I can honestly say I am doing well. I find happiness in the day to day. I love being Christina and James's mom. I always wanted to be a mother. Most days we keep busy with normal things like getting dressed, running errands, getting a Diet Coke from Circle K, making dinner, cleaning the house, watching an episode of Parks & Rec, etc. Our normal life routines carry on and probably keep me sane with some doctor visits thrown in. Certainly when I get a moment of alone time my thoughts wonder and my emotions are raw, but in a healing way rather than in a self pity way. We have great friends and family. I have an amazing husband who loves and supports me and I still can't believe married me! And most importantly I find comfort in the Savior and his love for me and his love for baby Christina. I rely on God and I know He hears and answers my prayers.