We're too Poor

Several months ago I wrote a blog post about our finances, so I thought I'd try out another one! Since we are forging our way toward being debt-free (and/or moving and buying another house) money is a common topic in our household. And lots of these conversations have been teaching James about money and it's value. What started off as partly a joke and also a matter of convenience was Brian and me telling James we were poor and that's why we can't buy "x". It made it easy when we'd be at Costco and he wanted that cool new toy and we'd just say, "Oh, that looks super fun, but we're too poor." And it worked, James would nod and move along. But as time went on James would tell other families we were poor and even go as far as to ask my mom if they were poor too, like his parents! Part of me was so proud for our successful indoctrination of our child! But this also got me thinking.

Along with teaching James we are poor, we have also been trying to teach him about work. We talk about how work allows us to buy things that we need and want. We talk about how working harder and longer equals more money. We talk about how dad goes to work and works very hard to provide for our family. We ask James about what he'd like to do when he's older to make money. We give James chores to help him develop a work ethic. (This still needs a lot of work on our part! He whines a lot about chores!)

So my point in all of this is that I am now a little worried that we are teaching him mixed messages. James sees how hard Brian works at his job as well as with his church assignments. I try to make a point of this to James so that he appreciates what Brian does and to explain why Brian gets home late or has to leave again to go to church after getting home from work and so on. By showing James how hard Brian works and then saying we are "too poor" are we showing him a negative correlation between hard work and money? Am I overreacting and this is going over his head since he's only four years old? Is it a bad idea to trick your kids into thinking you're poor to help them not be spoiled? Brian and I are by no means rolling in the dough. We make a comfortable income where our needs and some (if not many) of our wants are met. I do think that being spoiled and entitled is more a matter of gratitude that can occur at any income level, rich or poor. So are there better ways of teaching children an attitude of gratitude rather than just telling them you can't afford it?

As a funny aside, there is a quote from Napoleon Dynamite that we say all the time in our house. To set the scene, Napoleon and Uncle Rico are shopping at some sort of grocery or corner store. Napoleon tries to get a box of assorted chips. Uncle Rico yaps, "Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back!" Brian and I have abridged the quote to be, "We can't afford the fun pack!" when referring to anything that is out of the budget, whether it's a nice handbag I want or even more serious things like a house that is too expensive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N43WWmVZGb4