Nelson Family Rules

Something unique Brian and I do in our marriage and family is to allow each of us to make one rule annually by which all members of the family must abide. We call these Family Rules. Typically, as many of you know, a courtship is more likely to lead to marriage when they agree upon "the basics" - politics, religion, money, etc. Brian and I agree on most of these "basics". Even though we are often on the same page about things sometimes as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Brian has discovered my somewhat nonsensical, yet non-negotiable expectations and/or quirks. For example, I cannot fall asleep unless I know the dishes are complete downstairs. Also, when I leave the house, and especially when I go on vacation, my house must be perfectly clean in the event that someone must come into my home for some reason while I'm away. I also just like coming home to a clean home after I've been away. These traits of mine came as some surprise to Brian as he was not aware of them before we wed. He has discovered (and continues to discover) these aspects of me over the course of our marriage.

Brian, on the other hand, has a silly sense of brand loyalty to Costco, In-N-Out and American Express. While I do like these companies and their business models, I don't see the logic in driving five extra miles just to fill up on gas at Costco to save three cents per gallon.

Despite how crazy and different we find each other, we have agreed that once a year we can impose our "personal preferences" on the rest of the family by decreeing a Family Rule of the year. I will recap how the rules started as well as which rules have been imposed so far with their respective backstories. As Marbury v Madison first establishment judicial review, our 2009 Thanksgiving trip to visit Jarom and Erica in Idaho established the Nelson Family Rules.


Christina's 2009 Family Rule: The whole family must pack for a trip the day before

For Thanksgiving, Brian and I went to visit our dear friends up in Idaho. Brian waited until the last minute to pack, unlike me that carefully packed a day before the trip and was then able to make last minute adjustments to my luggage. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and stayed the rest of the weekend at our friend's house. Sunday came and as we were dressing for church Brian realized that he had brought his suit coat but had forgotten his suit pants. He ended up wearing jeans and a white shirt to church. Brian felt very sheepish and embarrassed at his appearance because he prefers to dress more formally as an outward commit to God in his worship. At first, I was annoyed at him, but later felt badly because he was so embarrassed. But I still held that I had told him to pack sooner, but he claimed there was no need. My point made. And thus my rule made, not only as extra insurance that he will pack before, but that he will not forget again.


Brian's 2009 Family Rule: Christina may not throw away Brian's things without permission

Brian caught me throwing away a pair of his shoes that held sentimental value. (as well as aromatic value!).


Christina's 2010 Family Rule: Christina does not ever have to drive a stick shift car nor is she to be mocked about her inability and refusal

The car we have had for most of our marriage is a manual car and once a week during Family Night Brian would force me to practice driving in the BYU football stadium parking lots. Subsequently, each night after torturous practice and tears, I would have nightmares of stalling in major intersections, on hills, or in stop and go traffic. In 2010 I decided enough was enough and instigated my 2010 Family Rule.



Brian's 2010 Family Rule: Christina cannot yell at Brian (especially in public)

As some of you know, my voice is known to carry. Brian and I were shopping at Costco and I thought I was just quietly rebuking him. My "kind rebuke" was in fact a shrewish shrieking for which Costco shoppers had a front row seat.


Christina's 2011 Family Rule: Brian must shave for going to church and temple


As you can tell, most of these rules are established to help us reach an agreement where Brian and I normally have divergent ways of thinking. In regards to shaving both Brian and I agree he looks better when shaven. However, Brian would prefer an extra 15 minutes of sleep. In taking his shuteye into account, I made the rule only apply to instances of worship. So he doesn't have to bother arising early for things such as school or work.


Brian's 2011 Family Rule

Brian had no complaints whatsoever about his beautiful wife Christina so he decided to forgo his rule for this year. (Actually, we just can't remember what rule he made. We don't usually remember the rules until we break them. So we'll have to wait it out and at some point I'll break Brian's unremembered 2011 decree.)



Christina's 2012 Family Rule

I have not made my rule for the year yet. Any suggestions?

Brian's 2012 Family Rule: The sink, which is a double sink, must always have one side empty of dishes.

I, of course would prefer there to never be dishes in the sink but sometimes when we have people over or we make a big meal the dishes end up all over the house and the counters. I prefer to collect them and just stack them in the sink. However Brian hates this and made it his rule for this year. To Brian's dismay I have broken this rule a few times and need to work on it.



I have chosen to blog about this to help Brian and I keep a better record of the established rules so that we can remember to keep our commitments to each other and because I want to remember the stories behind why we made some of these rules.

I'm not usually sentimental

I'm not known for being very sentimental or nostalgic. In fact, my husband thinks that I am cold-hearted in the regard that I am fine to throw things away that he thinks carry with them some memory or emotion. I just love to clean out my house. And that almost always trumps any touchy-feely emotions. Sometimes I watch that disturbing show Hoarders and I am just blown away. Simply put, I do not understand. I would be a very bad therapist in dealing with this disorder and the people, but I would certainly be the one to call to help clean the stuff out and organize the house!

So one backstory to explain why I am blogging about this: (I always think of Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas & Ferb telling Perry the Platypus his backstory to explain why he made his current "inator". But maybe I spend too much time watching children's television shows...)

Okay, so back to the backstory. Yesterday night we were cleaning out Brian's closet and it reminded me of an incident that happened a couple years ago. I was going through our house de-cluttering and I ended up in Brian's closet. I found Brian's really nasty old shoes that he wore as a missionary for our church. Because they were so gross and he hadn't worn them in over three years, I saw no need to keep them and threw them away. Brian came home and noticed them in the trash and was mortified that I would have thrown them away and he wondered what else had I been throwing away and was just was never caught doing it! Oops. I didn't see why he was making such a big deal out of it. He explained to me that when he sees his shoes that he remembers the great experiences of his mission. We made A Family Rule (In our family, Brian and I are allowed to each make one rule each year that we will then have to follow for the rest of time) that I am not allowed to throw his things away without his permission. Though I may not have this same attachment to things, I am learning to accept that my husband does. And I try to control my urge to purge the house!

So back to the point of this blog entry. I do have a few things that I have some feelings for and will always keep. One of those things is this adorable rocking chair that James is sitting in. My grandmother gave it to me when I was a young girl and my mom recently mailed it to me to have in my home.

It fits him perfectly! I am grateful to have this piece of furniture in my home and to be able to pass it down to my children. Another item that I hold dear is my spoon collection of my ancestors bearing my name Christina. In my family there is a matriarchal tradition to pass down the name Christina to the first daughter along with the spoon collection. I am the seventh generation Christina and I feel honored to carry on the name and I hope to pass the legacy down to my daughter. And I think I will give this chair to James and he can pass this down through his family. All of this to say is that I do have some sentiments, just not as many as most people. 

End of Jenny's trip

During Jenny's last couple of days here in Vegas we went to the Cheesecake Factory and it was such a nice, relaxing evening (James had a babysitter!). It was cool enough that we even ate outside and we all ate way too much yummy food! (Sorry these are so dark---I hope the next iPod has a flash with the camera.)

 We had fun asking Jenny embarrassing questions! This was Jenny getting embarrassed!

We took a few picture before Jenny had to fly back home to New York. We already miss her and can't wait until we get to see her again!

My painfully squinty eyes! Sorry dad. 

Don't mind James' creepy stare in this picture. He must have been sad his Auntie was leaving!

Park with Auntie

Jenny, James and I walked to the park that is down the street from our house.

We've had so much fun playing with Jenny. She couldn't understand why people live here because it is so hot. It was about 105 degrees when we were at the park. Maybe she has a point...

I think James looks so much like my brother John in this picture!

The Vegas Strip with Vivian

No, her name isn't Vivian, it's Jennifer. But I like to call her Vivian and many other nicknames. Brian thinks it's strange and doesn't understand how we come up with Jenny's various nicknames; i.e. Vivian, Viv, Vivatronics, Det, Doopa, Jenny-doopa, Niffer, Niffertiti, etc. Some of the origins I know and others I don't, but I guess you could say we are....creative!

So we started at the north section of Las Vegas Boulevard and drove south. Brian wanted us to drive by all the federal buildings, courthouses, and the jail. Jenny and I were only mildly interested. Sorry Brian. Our first stop was the Gold & Silver Pawn which is featured on the History Channel's Pawn Stars. Awesome show by the way. 

And we thought this guy in the background was Rick Harrison, but after I zoomed in I don't this it is. He looks just like him, so I figure it must be his brother. (And yes, I was one of those creepers that pretends to take a picture of my husband but takes one of the guy in the background.)

Then we headed over to Fashion Show Mall which is an awesome, but always busy mall. (I hate crowds.) Then we strolled around Caesars Palace and window shopped at the high-end stores at The Forum Shops.

It was a fun day and we got lots of walking in, but not very many pictures!

Staying Cool

So it's no surprise that Vegas is hot. But it is really hot! 

To stay cool we use lots of AC and pay the electric company obscene amounts of money. But sometimes we like to change things up and pay the water company lots of money instead. And we use water to cool off! 

We have water gun fights.  (James' favorite---he loves guns. And thanks Jenny for being a good sport!)

James getting pwnd by Jenny!

Water hose wars.

Hose and gun wars.

Hang out by the pool. Kiddie pool, that is. It's so hot that even I sometimes get in with James. I don't think the whole family would fit though...

A Special Visitor

Brian's second-cousin once-removed stopped into town for a visit this morning. Apparently his cousin has a lot of friends in North Las Vegas because we only got to see him and didn't have a chance to visit. This was the best picture I got. 

Did I mention he's running for President? He spoke about fixing the economy and the middle class. He even talked about what he will have accomplished by the end of his second term. I like his confidence! Mitt Romney really is as handsome in person as he is on television. 

At least I did get a few cute pictures of Brian, James and me!